How I Stay Confident

Throughout my social media "career", if you may, I'd always get asked, "Kristen, how do you stay so confident?". My answer would always be to remind yourself that you are that b*tch and nobody's opinion of you should matter but your own. Although that's true, finding the confidence to do what they want or be who they wish to be may be more difficult than just telling themselves positive things. Which is completely okay! I definitely didn't get to this level of confidence over night.


I'll start by sharing some personal things about myself. Once upon a time, I'm shy, introverted, awkward, bad at making conversation, and sensitive, the end. When I tell people this they're usually baffled by how much of a dweeb I am. But I'm not ashamed of being a dweeb! I always lack confidence when it comes to making friends and fitting in. I'm often by myself and have a really small circle of friends. And even so, when I wouldn't get invited to parties or gatherings it would make me feel like I wasn't even good enough for the few friends I had. Those feelings of being an outcast or excluded would bring my confidence, self-esteem, and mood to an all time low. It would result in me isolating myself from everyone, having mood swings, and hiding in my bed all day. So it's safe to say I lack confidence in my social life (oh the irony, I know).



Channeling the disappointment through creative forms self-expression is ultimately what saves me from feeling down all the time. I try new things and different hairstyles, change my looks from day to day, dance away my doubts, write poetry and journal entries, take pictures, create videos. The list goes on and on. I would have never gained the following that I have today if I weren't always recreating myself. The goal is to be fearless in what you strive to do. Every day I become less afraid of failing at something or being judged. As confident as people think I am, there are still fears and doubts I try to overcome every day and I encourage you (Kakesster or not) to do the same!


At the end of the day, it's important to remember that you're only given one life and you don't want to spend it being afraid to do you to the fullest. That's what confidence is to me. Sure I'd receive hateful, judgemental, even racist comments from time to time. But people's petty opinions fail to phase me because to be confident is to know yourself and be in tune with yourself. Giving value to people's opinion of you or what you do will only devalue your own opinion about yourself which is counterproductive. Put yourself before everything, know yourself, know your worth, take risks, and slay!